Endless Memories
by Nexus Infinity
Summary: Just a little thing I wrote up. Based on Lost Time Memory. T for some swearing and suicide mention.


**Author's Notes:**

**Uhhh...Yeah, so this ended up really weirdly. To be perfectly honest, I actually wrote this to let out some stress (little depression fit. It passed so I'm good for now). It was gonna be more loosely based off of Lost Time Memory with Shintaro being more hurtful (intentional or not) to the other members...but that kind of died somewhere after introducing Ene. So instead, we have another Lost Time Memory fanfic. I apologize for not being really creative with this. I really just needed to relive some stress and this was the way I thought of. Anyways...uhh...enjoy this little thing, review if you want, and uhhhh...this is meant as a one-shot (though I may do another bit if people like this. I don't see that happening personally).**

* * *

Mekaku City Actors: Endless Despair

_The clock read 12:32 in red numbers._

Despite being in the middle of the day, the clock was surrounded by darkened objects. The window blinds were shut tight; only small rays managed to pass through them. A black screen was slightly illuminated by the light. The screen sat there, unused, only reflecting the image right in front of it. The image of a teenage boy in a troubled sleep.

_The clock switched to 12:33._

An alarm broke the silence of the room. The boy cracked his eyes open and stopped the alarm. He didn't retract his arm; he only stared at the clock, eyes glazed over and expression lifeless.

_The date was August 15__th__._

He stared and stared and kept staring. One would think that he was trying to rewind time or something from his bored gaze, but he thought nothing of the sort. He wasn't even thinking, only staring at the clock that he _oh so_ hated. The clock that told him that he was still there, that he was still living, that nothing changed, that he had to face another day of torture. He didn't want to do it. He was sick, sick and tired of doing this over and over again, of having to repeat the same mistakes over and over.

"This frickin' heat-haze…Why won't it end…" he muttered to no one before rolling over, perfectly content to go back to sleep. Well, that was the plan anyways.

"Master? Master! I know you're up! I heard the alarm go off so wakey wakey!" The monitor, previously void of any power, had turned itself on; Ene lay sideways with her head propped up by her arm as she chastised the boy. He didn't move; he only continued to lie on his side, quiet and lifeless, as the program continued to yell colorful phrases at him while jumping around the screen.

One minute, two, three, they passed by without any change; the boy was glad that Ene was only a program as a real person is a hassle. He flinched mentally, unpleasant memories resurfacing when he wanted them the least. Memories of red and brown, of laughter, of sadness…

Of regret. Of pain. Of that million-watt smile that's gone because of him.

"Shintaro."

He was stunned out of his train of thought. Ene rarely called him by his full name in any situation. Gone was the playfulness in her voice, replaced by a stern expression and a serious tone. He only turned his head towards the computer screen, but that was enough for Ene to know he was listening.

"Why are you acting like this? Sure, you weren't exactly all sunshine and lollipops before either, but at least you didn't act like you were dead." Shintaro subconsciously clenched his fist; Ene took no notice and kept talking. "_I'm worried_. Worried that you've started dwelling in the past too much. You may be a closed book, but your eyes aren't. They're sad, broken, almost pleading…" She paused. "Are you thinking about Ayano again?"

Shintaro could only grit his teeth; Ene was spot on with everything as usual. He just couldn't let her go. Ayano had shown him that the world was actually worth something, that there was light and happiness outside of his little bubble. But…when she was the one that needed help, he had walked away; he abandoned her, refused to listen to her, and what happened? She committed suicide. Granted, Shintaro figured out that her reasons were different than just pure depression in this daze, but it didn't change his view in the slightest. It was still his fault that Ayano took that jump, that she succeeded…

That now the only place he can meet her is a foggy dream.

"Shintaro!"  
Ene's voice broke him out of his thoughts again. 'She was probably yelling at me for a bit too,' Shintaro thought. When he focused on the screen, he noticed Ene had moved so only her torso and head could be seen. Her stern expression was still there, but tears were forming at the edges of her eyes. Her voice cracked ever so slightly when she spoke.

"Why are you so caught up on this Shintaro? Ayano…she would hate to see you like this!" _A stab._

"She would've wanted you to move on! To continue enjoying life!" _Another stab._

"Why won't you move on?!" _Third times the charm._

Shintaro could've sworn he heard his heart break right then. He wanted to cry, to mourn, to move on, but something else happened instead.

"I'm perfectly fine with living in the past." 'No. No no no no no. That's not right,' Shintaro thought. He felt his body move on his own. He was walking to the computer slowly. Every step seemed to take an eternity.

Ene had long since dropped her serious gaze and instead looked at Shintaro with a sorrowful expression.

"Even…even if that means you can't see tomorrow?"

Shintaro felt something within himself snap at her words. His fingers danced about the keyboard, typing up chunks of codes and commands so suddenly and quickly even Ene couldn't figure out what he was doing. But she realized too late once a message choice appeared in front of her. She looked at Shintaro fearfully. His face was contorted in a sinister smirk, his eyes mad. He finally answered her question.

"Yes, because yesterday will always be better than tomorrow." He clicked yes. Ene screamed out as she disintegrated into code, disappearing from Shintaro's computer completely this time. Shintaro backed off from his computer and stood there, admiring his handiwork and-

"Wait. Wait wait wait. What the-WHAT THE HELL DID I-WHAT DID I JUST DO?!" he cried as he looked at his hands in denial. Those same hands that had shooed away Ayano. Those same hands that just removed Ene from the world. Those same hands that **just killed Ene**.

"Ah…AH! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Shintaro stumbled backwards, falling right at the edge of the bed. He sat on the floor with his head in his hands, horror written all over his face. He did it again. He hurt his friends again. First Ayano, now Ene. His pupils dilated. What's to say that he wouldn't hurt anyone else? Momo, Seto, Kano, Kido, Konoha, Mary, they could all potentially be next in line to die by his hand. Why did he even do it? What compelled him to even think of committing this murder?!

'You know all too well. You wanted to stay in your happy little world. All alone with Ayano,' his mind told him. An image flashed before his already broken eyes. A dream, yet he saw it as clearly as reality.

He saw Ayano falling from the school roof **with a smile**.

Shintaro only cried harder.

* * *

Hours later, the sun had fallen over the horizon, painting the room in an orange hue. The light was starting to disappear as Shintaro sat on his bed. His eyes were completely dead; there was no sign of joy or a will to live. All he did was stare at the object in his hands.

**A pair of scissors.**

Internally he was smiling. He knew this was the only way to insure that he couldn't hurt anyone else. Nothing else mattered. He just wanted to make sure everyone would be safe from his destructive self. With one motion, he brought the metal up above his neck. As his arms moved, he only had one thought.

'This will fix everything.'

The metal pierced his skin.

* * *

Shintaro found himself back in a familiar place. The classroom that he had been in for high-school. The classroom that he spent his days idly chatting with Ayano. The classroom that was his own little sanctuary. The room was still stained a dull orange, the setting sun falling over the horizon. A slight breeze was blowing, forcing the blinds to sway in the wind. Flowers decorated each desktop. Ayano was there with him, standing by the window with her brown locks fluttering a bit. Shintaro would've thought he was dreaming again except for one detail: Ayano's eyes were red. Those same red eyes gazed at Shintaro sadly, a weak smile accompanying it.

"Sorry, Shintaro. This will our goodbye, okay?"

Shintaro only gapped. He couldn't form words, not with this unbearable pain in his heart. To have your dream so close and yet so far…

"PLEASE! DON'T LEAVE ME!"

The world evaporated into white…

* * *

Shintaro lay facing the ceiling when he awoke. His eyes were dull. He had the nicest dream, but couldn't remember what it was. Oh how he hated being alive. After a bit, he realized something was buzzing. He turned his head to the side.

_The clock read 12:33 in red numbers._

_The date was August 15__th__._

Shintaro wanted to scream.


End file.
